I think i'm going crazy?

I dont know really how to start off but, i guess i'll tell you a little about myself. I'm 17, i'm adopted and i live with my mom who is divorced (i never see my dad) my mom has been verbally abusive with me since the husband she remarried died. My mom has depression with psychotic tendencies, she has ended up in the psych ward twice because of suicide attempts. I had a pretty good life growing up until the point of my stepdads death. I know my stepdads death has nothing to with my problems, i didnt know him long (i didnt know my mom and him were even married, they never told me that they got hitched) only for about a year before he died and we didnt get along very well. When i was 11 (3 years after my stepdads death) things got weird for me. I began to see and hear things. I remember clearly i saw these skeleton like things, but they had muscle and blood on the bones and i used to sit in the living room and see them crawling towards me out of the kitchen. I would close my eyes and try to tell myself they werent there. I would see them in the car too, crawling up the hood and front window of the car and i would see them in the back seat through the rearveiw mirror. I didnt see them very long maybe a couple months. I would hear my name being called but, the voice that called me didnt sound human, it was really deep and kinda muffled. I got a psychiatrist when i was 12, i didnt do any talking and my mom did all of it. No one gave me a chance to speak and i was to scared to interupt so i let them talk about me, at the end of the first session the dr wrote an rx for an antipsychotic and an antidepressent, without even talking to me. I refused to take the meds. after that things got worse, when i was 14 I saw this boy named Charlie. He was blind, and he became my best friend ( i didnt have any other friends, everyone thought i was weird and i would get pushed down stairs and kicked at school, teachers didnt do anything). I talked to him about everything in my life, but he became kinda pushy after awhile he told me he wanted me to be blind like him so we would have more in common. I wasnt sure about it at first but, he was getting pushy so i tried to blind myself with a strong laser i bought off the internet. I went to the hospital, and was there for a few days (i got crappy vision after that haha). i told them a friend told me to do it, not telling them a boy that no one else can see told me to do it. i was scared that they would say i was crazy and throw me in the loony bin. I told my mom later that week when i was home about Charlie. She didnt believe me and said i had a great imagination. I began to take my meds when i got home and Charlie hasnt been back since. After taking the medication for a few weeks, i thought that they were mind controlling medications (still the same reason i'm not taking any now) so i stopped again. The hearing and seeing things went away for little bit. last year, i began to think everyone is trying to kill me. I wouldnt eat anyones food, i wouldnt get in the car with anyone. Nowadays i see pictures move (like harry potter pictures haha), other stationary things move like pens and paper and bugs that arnt there. I hear my mom telling me i'm an idiot, and she tells me to do things. like bad things. Like the other day i was on the bus and i could hear a whole conversation between two woman about me but, no one was on the bus. I can hear rain when there isnt any. There is alot of snow where i live, when i stand at the bus stop (to go to school) i look at the snow and time seems to stop because the snowflakes stop in midair. I havent been to see a psychiatrist in years because i think the drs are trying to trick me into thinking i have a problem and prescribe me fake meds to lead me on. I dont know whats real and whats not. I'm sorry to put such a lenghthy question but, i need help. I dont know what i should do.....i want to stay away from the psychiatrists but, i think i have to go. Does anyone have an idea of whats happening with me???? what do you think i should do???I think i'm going crazy?
Sounds like you and your mom both have a psychotic disorder. Things were probably better when your stepdad was around, because he kept her under control more. Now that he's gone, she is putting all her stress on you, and your own symptoms get worse in response.



You need to see a psychiatrist, preferably one that you feel comfortable with. Since you're 17 you might have to use one that your mother picks out, but that's better than none at all. Once your'e independent, you can shop for one you like better. But for now, see one no matter what because it's important.



Antidepressants aren't generally good for patients with psychoses. Antipsychotics are, But none of them control your mind. They don't change who you are. They just make the bad symptoms stop and let you get on with your regular life. So you must go to a psychiatrist now and follow his or her treatment plan. And you must speak for yourself. Tell the doctor everything. They can't help you if they don't know what's going on. Your mother has her own problems and can't speak for you.



So. You have a hereditary psychosis. You must go to a psychiatrist that you like. You must take the medications he/she gives you. And you must tell that psychiatrist in your own words what is going on.



They have new kinds of drugs now. If you take them as you're told, you will feel better and have a good life. Soon you will be 18 and you must make mature choices.
You need to see a therapist and go back on your medication or you can end up in the hospital for a very long time.I think i'm going crazy?
I think you should go to psychiatrists because they're more professional about this matter.

Just try. If you don't then you're just making this problem worse.
dude if you got time to type that yes you may be crazy
I am a freshman at university and I also see things move that aren't really moving and I hear voices sometimes that aren't there. I haven't had as bad of a life as you but my parents were divorced when I was 6, my mother died, my sister has been in a mental hospital and teen mental health programs because she cut herself. My mother had a history of mental health as do several other family members. I thought I was going crazy too. But then I realized that most of this is just caused by stress, and self-infliction. In other words, you are going crazy because you THINK you're going crazy.

17 is a major time in your life. High school is ending, college is going to begin, hormones are raging, this is the time of your life when mental health issues are most likely to affect you. But it's ok if they do. A lot of people are "crazy". I most certainly am, as are many people who don't like to admit it. The best thing you can do for yourself is embrace yourself for who you are, with all your excellencies and all of your "flaws", or, as we'll say here, eccentricities. Are you mentally unwell? Yes, you are. But are you "crazy"? No. Far from it. You're seeking help by asking this question, which means you want to nip it in the bud before it gets out of control, which is good. If I were you I would talk to a therapist about all you've been through. Don't distrust them. They are good people who are just trying to help. All you need is a bit of help. Everyone needs a tune up from time to time. If you are honest with yourself and get the help you need, you'll be fine.
too long for me to read :( sorry